You Don't Know the half of it
by ZurethaMetal
Summary: She was saved by a man she thought would kill her. And now here she is- Ariela Starbrite, partnered with Abel Nightroad on a mission with Astha and The Earl- to meet a very interesting Methuselah. DISCONTINUED
1. Trianing

**A/N: I do not own Trinity Blood. And this is my first fan fic so please, NO FLAMES! I hope you enjoy. I'll do a flashback just for you guys so you can learn more about our characters and extras, but this is only my side cuz I didn't write this alone. One of my best friends helped me write this. Say hello to KittyDemoness(Tera)**

**KittyDem- (grinning like the devil) Hiya, now READ Misters and Missies!**

**Me- And we're happy to present Chapter One of our first fan fic-**

**Training**

Hi I'm Ariel. You may know my brother Leon, and my partner- Abel. I'd love to talk more but right now I'm kinda in the middle of something.

"Keep your head up, lowly terran," Astha shouted as he ran at me, spear in hand. I watched as she came toward me. She was only a few feet away when I jumped up and launched off her spear, knocking it out of her hands and landing behind her. She turned and ran at me, fist raised high. She landed the punch to my jaw and I wiped my now bloody lips on my sleeve as I faked her. I acted like I was going to punch, but turned into a chop. Astha realized this and grabbed my hand. I could feel my bones cracking. I know she didn't mean to, or maybe she did. We were training, sparring- to be better fighters, and we never finished a match. She brought up her nail and traced it along my neck, like the Methuselah she was, thirsting for me- no matter how much aqua vitae and iron pills she takes. I heard the chains break, the ones on the chair that we had put Abel in- because he was the reason we never finished a fight.

I saw the Crusnik out of the corner of my eye and braced to be crushed. I felt the cool hands, separate Astha from me and felt myself falling. And now I'm crushed. I groaned- he always did this. I appreciate that the thought of me getting hurt could drive him to tears- but then I realized the position we would be in if someone walked in right now. I blushed. "Star, you all right?" Abel asked in a low voice, staring at me. I found the eye contact with the priest was too much, like he was looking into my soul- which I never wanted him to see again. I'm impure. I turned my head.

"Abel, I'm fine. You're kind of crushing me though, and frankly- I wanted to get back to winning." Astha made a shocked noise.

"If winning is what you call losing to a Methuselah then you're really going to win against Isaak." Abel tried to hold me back because as soon as he rolled off me, I launched up.

"Don't bring him into this Astha! The difference is he's not a friend! He's an enemy- a familiar face, a familiar memory- but nothing but a shell of the Isaak I knew", I shouted, spitting the last few words in disgust. Astha scoffed.

"You never knew him. He was just a boy who lied to you just to get in your p-"

"Astha! Enough!" Abel said. He didn't raise his voice much, just loud enough to cover our banter, but there was a threat in his voice that foreshadowed the outcome. Astha stopped and closed her open mouth and then opened it again.

"Protecting her. Tovarish, if you protect her too much- she'll never be able to fight her own fights. You have to let her go sometimes. You're not her father, you're her partner. Have her back Abel, but don't hold onto her wings." Abel and Astha stared at each other for a bit, an eerie silence creeping over. I shuddered and pulled my Vatican cassock tighter against me and walked into the adjoining bathroom, so I could clean my face. I cleaned the cut and admire my split lips in the mirror, and the red line on my neck, a scratch from Astha's nail.

I walked back out into the room and Astha and Abel were both standing close to each other, having a silent conversation. I picked up some.

"How can I let go?"

"Not her! Not against him…"

"It's all you can do…"

"Don't doubt her…talented fighter. I believe in you." That's all I picked up as I walked across the cement floor to the gray wall, where Ion was leaning, drawing in a little notebook Esther had given him before….before- the accident. That's what everyone called it.

(4 months earlier) _We all went out for drinks one night to celebrate successful mission. We were standing outside the bar, chilling around in the cold air. I could have sworn there was a glittering line on Esther wrist. Before I could say anything, we all watched her stumble back into the street and then a car came. We were sluggishly running in drunken movements, trying to alert her, but she seemed to not be able to speak. I knew what was happening. I knew what would happen, before it did. I could almost see a silhouette in the alley across from us. I screamed and practically teleported across the street from where Esther lay bloodied. Seconds later the crusnik was behind me, trying to stop me from chasing the human Puppet master and ripping his heart out. _

_"Damn it Crusnik. Let me go. I have to get that bas-" He caught me and pushed me up against the brick wall. The look on his face stopped me from yelling at him. He was barely in control- electricity sparking from him, arcing across his body. His glasses were already shattered, the ribbon from his hair lost, his body was trembling. The worst part- he was crying, tears of his own blood. He had known her best, he was her partner. This was his fight, but it was my fault. I suddenly felt guilty and pulled the priest into my arms. _

_"Abel. I'm sorry. So sorry- You lost your partner, your friend. And it was my fault. If I never left, they wouldn't be out to get any of us. I'm sorry, for everything." Abel had frozen way back when I said it was my fault. His body had completely stilled, but he was still sobbing overtop my head, his hands still had a firm grip on my back and around my shoulders. _

_"Ariel, it was never your-" I stopped him with a hand to his lips. I looked at him with a look of torture. _

_"How can you say that? If I stayed, I'd never have known you, you would've killed me and then your partner wouldn't be dead, and before you kill me- my last request would be to take me and let me say my last words to Master__**- 'Meister, Sie haben versagt. Durch die Hände der Römer, wird Ihr Blut vergossen werden'**__(Google translate people, abuse it!) Then I can die free with no regrets…but now," I sighed,"I have too many." _

_I looked away at the direction Dietrich had gone but hugged the priest tighter. Something nagged at me. _

_"Father, I know you may not want to discuss it, but how close were you and Esther? Were you just partners, or was it more on relationship terms? I mean you two fought by each other thick and thin- and she, besides me, was the only person who could make you smile when you were sad." Abel froze and backed away from me, giving me a strange look. He was back to normal, but he had dried streaks of blood down his face. _

_"Ariel, are you suggesting that Esther and I were in love? I had loved her, to a degree where I would do anything to hear her say those words back, but I doubt she had feelings for me at all." I hugged him tighter. He lost his love. That made it all the more similar. I lost my love, to a Methuselah. Damn that Isaak. He stole my heart, and then bit it, making a piercing wound that never healed. _

_"I wish I could say it's going to be okay Abel, but it won't be. You'll get through it. I did. Don't worry, we'll all help you. We should get back." Abel had another questioning look on his face. _

_"Something hadn't occurred to me before, well, a few things. First- How did you see Dietrich, before I even sensed him? Second- How did you get across the street, even before I did?" I gave him a quizzical look as we walked back through the cold air. _

_"I've been known to do that, walk faster than most, and we Rosencroitz members have a stealth shield that allows us to go undetected, except by each other. I can only just barely see him. Damn Dietrich, damn Isaak, damn my Meister." I clenched my fists around the ends of my cassock. _

_"Ariel, we'll get them, and when we do- then God will put us both at peace. Never doubt Him." I nodded and unclenched my hands as we walked back across the street, eyes avoiding the bloody scenery. More people had shown up now to move the body. I felt sick, not being able to take my eyes off the run-over red-head. She welcomed me into the AX with open arms, happy to have another young girl there. Though I was 3 years older than her, I had the thought process of a 16 year-old. Money, drugs, why doesn't my hair ever listen to me. Most of all- murder. We both had murderous pasts. Sometimes we'd sneak into the rose gardens and spend all night talking about our favorite methods of killings, and the good times in the middle of those pasts._

_She goes for point-blank shooting. She always was merciful. Me- not so much. I preferred torture. I loved watching them die by the slow act of my poison crawling through their veins. It made me feel better than most, because then I could imagine it was the screams of Cain, dying beneath my hands. Sometimes the dream was so real I could almost feel his neck tensing under my hands, feel his undead pulse go into the nothing under my hands. But at the end of that dream, I always die. He always kills me with his last breath. He stabs me, and when he's dead, I fall to the ground next to him, like Esther is laying right now, and I die, a pool of black blood creeping out around me, whereas Esther's matches her bright red hair. I couldn't stop staring. I felt overly sick now. _

_I dashed out of the crowd down the alley, stopping to catch my breath, and then puking up liquor, food, blood. Anything to make me feel like I was dead too, because it was my fault, no matter what the priest said._

_"Ariel, so weak as to puke at the sight of death. You're no longer strong. I can change that; I can save you from yourself Ariel. I know you, you are mine, and I have to make sure things of mine work right." I froze, right where I was, curled up on the ground next to my pile of spew. My fist clenched. _

_"Come on little girl, come to your master. Sit with me and cry your eyes out in my arms. And then I'll give you a reason to cry." I looked left, right, behind me, in front of me. _

_"No use looking for me to chase me away girl, I am inside your head. The only way to get me to leave is to kill yourself or come back to me. Or perhaps you can tell your precious AX buddies, and you can be charged for heresy- we all know that would set Abel over the edge, perhaps he'll destroy the world again. I always did love 02's passion for killing mercilessly." I clenched my hands on my head, my nails digging into my skull. _

_"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!" The scream reverberated off the walls and I felt as alone as I ever had been. A laugh sounded in my ears and I could feel his body, inches from mine, his arms pulling me back to him. I clawed at the ground, not caring if my hands bled. I needed to get away, as quickly as I could. I was being dragged, I suddenly went limp, I didn't care anymore. _

_"My dear, you trust no one yet, so you have no one to betray. Thus, the game isn't fun. Goodbye." I felt myself being slammed into the brick wall and a crude kiss was forced to my lips. Then, as soon as the lips left, I was thrown to the ground and left there. Cain did something. I can see, I can breathe, but I can't move, can't respond. I heard Abel, calling me from a distance, Leon and Hugue's voices now joined him. And now all three were surrounding me, looking down at my non-responsive body. _

_"Abel! Hugue! Bro!" I tried to shout, but my slack dry mouth wouldn't make any sound. Leon was distraught; his eyes welled up with tears and threw both chakram's into the wall, where they clattered to the ground just like his body crumbled to the ground. Hugue kneeled beside me, his head bowed, a silver rosary in his hands, his body trembling. I wanted to reach out, to hug him- to tell him I was all right. Abel, his fists were clenched, jaw set tight. He was shaking, his glasses were gone, ribbon gone. I found I could move my eyelids, though it hurt- they were heavy and didn't move much- as I closed them, not wanting to see him as a Crusnik. _

_Everything went silent. _

_"Shit. Did she just fucking blink? Sis, please tell me you're alive. Blink, uh fuck, twice." I moved my heavy eyelids slowly and blinked, I think it was twice. Abel dropped to his knees faster than the average human. "Ariel, can you move?" Hugue had looked up to me and grabbed my bloody hand, kissing it, holding it in his. "We need to move her." That's all I remember before I passed out._

_(3 days later)I woke up and found myself in the room I shared with Abel, on the black couch in the corner. I felt my limbs again and tried to move, making a harsh wince when I leaned up. I clutched my side but managed to stand, stretching muscles that felt like liquid lava burning me. All of a sudden, I lost my balance and fell forwards onto the floor, hearing rushing footsteps towards where my body made the sound. _

_I quickly stood up, hissing through my teeth at the pain this seemed to bring and shuffled into the bathroom, not really wanting to see anyone at the moment. Plus I so needed a shower. I looked at myself in the mirror. I had bruises on my cheek and forehead, one on each shoulder, and I had the tiniest amount of blood matted in my hair. I turned the water on hot, enjoying the burning sensation of the water on the bruises. My shower was short and I walked out into the cold air, grabbing a fresh towel and a black silk Vatican robe. I donned it and shivered, it was colder than the air. _

_I opened the door and peeked out. Abel and Professor were having a conversation by the window. I strained my ears. _

_"Professor, how?" _

_"She's special, we've know this from the beginning." Abel sighed. _

_"What does it mean though? The death, how does it tie to her?" The man sighed and bit the tip of his pipe._

_"Abel, you know what she's been through. They think she's easy prey. They hunt her, to make her their slave. You know she's not human Abel. She isn't human. Her paralysis should've lasted a month, maybe longer- with the state she was in. And she's up and running around the next day. Human blood isn't black! Abel, I don't know what she is. All I know is she's not human." I closed the door, not wanting to hear any more and got dressed in fresh Vatican clothes, noticing the cutting shears. I had a brilliant idea. I wanted a fresh start as an inhuman monster. _

_I didn't want to see the former human in my eyes, only the monster. I grabbed the shears and trimmed my knee-length locks so that my hair barely passed my shoulders. I then clipped the hair together and braided it, putting it in a plastic bag. I called through the door like normal. _

_"Hey Four-eyes, where's the large envelopes? " _

_"On the desk in here. Why?" I sighed, I was getting annoyed. _

_"Donation!" _

_"Where, and with what?" I sighed again. _

_"For that place that makes wigs out of hair for kids with cancer. And if that didn't simplify it, my hair." I heard Abel go silent and heard feet running to the door. The door was yanked open and Abel stare at me, in shock. I pushed my way out of the room and sat down on the bed._

(Current day) Ion shuddered as I sat down. He slightly reclused himself these days, especially when he was drawing. I looked over his shoulder at the elaborate drawing. It was a drawing of Esther in a nun's habit, picking a flower from the gardens, underneath the moonlight. It was gorgeous, almost life like. I was afraid that if I looked too much longer, Esther would smile back and say, "So Sister, do you want a flower too?" I shuddered.

Ion looked back at me.

"Ariel, are you all right?" I smiled sadly at the forever young vampire.

"Yeah Excellency, I'm quite all right. Just, your picture is so life-like. I half-expect her to jump out and offer one of us the flower." He smiled a sad smile.

"I know what you mean." Sister Kate zapped in.

"Everyone, you have an hour till the service." I asked Lady C to have Kate check in from time to time so we could be there on time. I sighed and stood, walking out the door and down numerous hallways until I reached the door of the shared room. They really needed the Vatican remodeling thing to speed up. I didn't like the fact Abel had to sleep on a couch while I slept in his bed. I walked in and found fresh special occasion Vatican robes. They were black, with silver trim, a cross on each shoulder.

I donned my rosary, a gift from Esther, and rearranged my bangs. I checked to make sure my guns were still at my side. Knowing I might need it. We all gathered at Kate's ship, where she flew us to the town Esther was raised in, to the rebuilt church that had been burned the night she met Father Nightroad, where Bishop Laura was murdered. I shuddered. Cain sent his minions, to destroy what Esther loved, to destroy her as well. He would pay, but even if Abel made him pay, I want to deliver the last blow. I want to kill him. He will never escape me.

**A/N: Re-uploaded, definitely made some changes. It started as long as my thumb. Hope you guys enjoy. Stay tuned for my remodeled chapter 2- Esther's Birthday Celebration. R&R. ZxM OUT!**


	2. Esther's Birthday Celebration

**A/N- Disclaimer- I don't own anything.**

**So chapter two, it might be a bit longer but I'm not exactly sure where to cut off on these. Just enjoy- you're getting closer to lemon territory, though if you have anything against rape and implied sexual activities related to rape- I suggest you stop reading after this chapter. It's rated M for a reason, even though it's not suitable for anyone under sixteen by that letter- I'm fucking fifteen. I wrote this stuff. So go for it, just be warned- some of it may scar you, or who knows- maybe you're the kind that gets off on rape. But anyways…... ;D And if you have any issues or questions, just speak to KittyDem.**

**KittyDem- So what do you wanna do? Or who do you wanna do?**

**Me- Um Kitty, if you don't mind my asking but WTH? That was so not what I was hoping you'd say. (Said creeper walks closer with a knife in her hand.) Umm…. everyone relax. This is normal. Just read, and I'll….help her. As soon as I find her pills. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY? (Throwing stuff around madly then drops the couch and pales) Don't tell me she ran out! OMG T-T (hiding in a dark closet in my emo corner.) Okay, here's our next chapter-**

**Esther's Birthday Celebration**

I sighed and took my place in the front pew, hand tensing on my gun. I would get my hands on him. I WILL AVENGE YOU ESTHER! I placed a hand on the wreath, leaving a hand-crafted rosary dangling on it. It was black marble with a red ruby in the center. I drug my fingers across the stone. I shivered. My only killer friend was gone, the only girl my age, in thought process years, was dead. All because of me. It was my fault. Abel came up behind me, placing a hand over mine that lingered in a fist at my side. He led me to set down and I tried to calm down, for his sake. He didn't like the fact that I was angry at myself.

I sat next to him, huddling close to his side. I knew he would start crying halfway through, and I gave him a shoulder. The service was small of course, we don't want to glamorize the fact that the Vatican had been duped. Virgil was there, his calm facade slightly shaken. Mary was crying. And somehow someone pulled strings for Seth to visit, so I was flanked by Nightroads. Seth wiped her eyes on her sleeve. And I heard Abel's breathing quicken. One of his tears dropped on my hand. They were burning hot. Abel's hand covered mine and leaned into me, crying quietly.

We said a prayer to finish the service and proceeded to the airship, which to transport all of us to the cemetery. There were snacks and drinks aboard, even a mini-bar. Abel and I were tossing down glasses of Chardonnay like pros. The tender stopped us after 3 glasses each. I didn't feel the least bit buzzed, just angrier. But I controlled myself; the alcohol would not have me. Maybe later tonight, but that would wait. The airship descended slowly and touched the ground with a large thud. I gripped the counter to keep myself from falling. The hatch doors opened and Wordsworth and Hugue picked up the wreath and the Ax members followed out behind it.

One tear betrayed my sober gaze. It streaked down my face, clear as crystal. We set the wreath in front of her headstone, the rosary clanking against the cold marble. Each AX member was told to raise their guns. A shot from each gun would be fired to recognize her admission. We all shot at different times. Everyone's shots were aimed to the trees, but mine hit a bird overtop them. I put the safety back on my 10mm Stainless target 2 and replaced it to it's holster, resting low on my hip. I squeezed my holster one more time, feeling the tiniest bit more okay with myself as we went back to our spots. The pope blessed her resting place once more and slightly smiled to us to try and cheer us up. The priest chanted a prayer. I felt tears sting at my eyes, but I would not cry. A monster does not cry at the falling of a human, only people who aren't monsters do. Which explains why Abel was crying silently, gripping my arm like it was a safety rail.

Once it was all said and done, we were all dismissed and everyone ended up at the bar to reminisce her last seconds in life.

"Crusnik, up for a little shot contest in Esther's memory? Who knows, we might just get drunk. Three curtains, if you're in, pick one." Curtain 1- Lemon Drop. Curtain 2- 1-900-FUK-ME-UP. Curtain 3- Red Head Slut (No this is not for Esther. The lemon drop was for her. It was her favorite. This drink, however, is hard liquor- not something she'd take and stay sober.).

"Curtain 3." I smiled a sad smile and alerted the bartender.

"Need the redhead set, and keep 'em coming." He set six shots in front of each of us.

"Okay, we drink all of them and the last one to finish has to pay for the next round. The first one to get drunk loses. Drink as much as you can, as fast as you can. 3….2...1…GO!" I downed a shot. 2 now, 3, now 4, 5..., and 6. The priest and I set our glasses down at the same time.

"So we split this. Tell me Abel, buzzed yet?" He looked at me, slightly amused but sad altogether.

"Not in the slightest. How much I wish I was though." I nodded and had the bartender put this night on my tab, deciding that the penniless priest probably had no money. He set another set down in front of us and we each gave each other a look before reaching for our first shot, ending the same time again.

"I'm beginning to think that you're slowing down so I don't have to pay even though I'm paying anyways. Not that I'm complaining." I gave him a sad smile and he smiled back. Next set. Down, down, down, down, down, down. Abel set his glass down a fraction of a second quicker this time. Last time I checked, I could only take 12, I had downed 18 already and wasn't buzzed in the slightest. The bartender refused to give us any more.

"Guys, I know you're sad 'bout losing the kid but ya know, drinking yourself into submission ain't the way out of it. I'm surprised you're still standin' after all them shots." I growled slightly, I wasn't drunk, just angry, angrier. I had the need to punch something. I told everyone I was leaving and was almost out the door when someone grabbed my arm. I turned around. It was Abel.

"Can I come with you?" I nodded and we walked out into the snow, not feeling the cold flakes as they fell on us. I flashed my I.D. to the guard and pulled Abel through the front gates. I went straight to our room and grabbed my training outfit and went into the bathroom. I removed my clothing and donned the black tank top with a slit up the midriff, and the leathers with stitches all over them. I stayed barefoot. Abel was already at the training room, shirtless, no glasses. This was how he usually fought.

"Funny, no dummies tonight. We're training against each other, and the greatest one will find Esther's killer. Maybe we are drunk, priest." I grinned my grin, my anger consuming me.

"Perhaps, I wouldn't know." He charged at me, fist raised, I waited till the last second and slid through his open legs, turning and aiming a roundhouse at his head. He was faster than I thought as he turned and grabbed my leg, swinging me around and into one padded wall. He released me and I dropped, feigning a doll-like pain state. I heard a rustle beside me. I felt a shaky hand touch my shoulder. Then I opened my eyes and pounced, pinning him under me.

"You think I would die that easy? Me- the inhuman monster," I whispered in his ear, chuckling slightly.

"If you think that was funny, you have another thing coming." Suddenly I was the one pinned under the priest, but I don't think I was complaining. He looked free for once, and I was happy for him- that he could be free of his burdens when he got his anger out. We'd done this a lot- fought when we were angry, it worked a lot too. His breathing was heavy as he stared me in the eyes.

"You really think you're a monster, don't you? How did you come to that? Never have I seen such a beautiful, nice monster. Never." If I were in my right mind, I would have blushed.

"Don't play games priest. I heard you and Wordsworth that day. I know what I am." I rolled and pinned him under me once again, a violent look on my face as I pinned his shoulders to the ground. His body was trembling. Looks like round two of our battle was about to begin.

"And before you say anything about how much of a monster I'm not and try and pin the monster thing on you- You're not a monster. Monsters aren't nice, or handsome, so how can you be a monster? Me- I can be a monster, because according to my enemies; I'm the most beautiful stained in blood of my prey." His trembling body froze and my hands were pried from his shoulders. I got up and walked off, but found myself soon pressed into the wall by the priest's body, his arms around me.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew? I could've explained. I could've-"

"Save it Abel! It wouldn't change anything about me." He hugged me tighter and felt slightly lightheaded.

"Ariel, I'm sorry you ever had to find out. But just know, to me- you're not a monster. You're my friend, my roommate, my opponent. Just like you always were and will be for times to come." Friend? Opponent? Roommate? He thought so highly of me, the monster. I lifted my arms as if to hug him back, but lowered them again as I noticed something. His body and mine….fit perfectly together. My head fit right under his chin, my body curved with his into the ground. It was almost impossible to tell where I ended and where he began.

He hugged me tighter. I wanted to melt right here, to let this priests words take my pain, but I couldn't. My body was betraying me. My shaking hands wrapped around him, clutching his robes as I closed my eyes against him. One hand smoothed my hair while the other held me to him. I felt tears sting me closed eyes and I didn't care. I let them pour out, absorbed into his clothes. I wanted to stop crying, I hated being this weak- as to cry in the arms of my mentor, and to let him see my weakness. I had lost our battle, he had won.

"Abel, I'm sorry you have to see me like t-." A finger was pressed to my lips as he pulled back slightly.

"Don't you ever say you're sorry, this shows you're human- and frankly, I like the human you." I stared, wide-eyed, at the priest. He smiled and leaned closer, his lips pressing against my forehead.

"Let that be my promise that you are a human. If you ever forget, remember this night." He released me and left, probably going into the gardens. I shivered. It wasn't the first time we'd been this close, but it was the first time his lips touched me. Occasionally his hand would brush my hair out of my eyes or something like that. To show that if I want, he could take the role of the father I never had, the man that would calm my doubts and soothe my fearfulness. In many ways, he was my father. I wiped the tears from my eyes and left the training room, heading back to the one the priest and I shared. Something was off, and I now knew what it was.

Abel never went to the gardens; he was here, sleeping in his own bed. I studied the sleeping figure, his hair as it flowed around him like a great robe. His furrowed brow as he saw things in his sleep. His back as it rose and fell with each breath. I lay back on the couch, breathing in his scent as I pulled the blanket up around me and closed my eyes. I heard a muffled voice, the priests. He was talking in his sleep.

"Stay with me tonigh'…don't wanna be alone." He shifted so his body was turned sideways, one hand under the pillow, the other stretched out as if he was waiting for someone to join him.

"Ariel…now Esther's gone; you're all I have left." He was dreaming…about me? I blushed slightly. At least I thought he was dreaming, until his opened his eyes and beckoned me over.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" I nodded before I could think about it. I know he wouldn't dare do anything. He just needs me as a shoulder, as a dream catcher, to keep his bad dreams away. I crawled in beside him and his arms wrapped around me.

"I'll make your bad dreams go away Abel, I promise," I whispered before I feel asleep in his warm embrace. Dreams flooded me that night. It's almost as if I was reading his.

_I saw Esther on that night. I was in the priest's eyes, seeing myself run faster than humanly possible across the street, shouting. Next it switched, to finding me passed out, glassy eyed- my only response blinking. I was in worse shape than I thought that night. Blood poured from the side of my head, my jaw slack and dislocated, nails coated in blood and lip bleeding. This was the priest's pain, I was feeling it. Then it switched to a room I've never seen before. There was a red-haired woman, a young silver-haired boy in a chamber with glass walls. Some sort of isolation. And there was a blond boy, seemingly his twin, his hand pressed to the glass. The silver-haired teen was shaking visibly._

_**"So knowing that's who we really are… what kind of a future do you think we could possibly have?"**__Abel? Then the blond haired twin…then he was…__**"I don't know, but you know… I'm happy to have been born at all brother."**_

_It had been a while since I heard those words. Abel once told me bits of his past. We were on a mission and ended up sleeping in a tent in the desert. A wound on his head was healing slower than normal, so I made him lie down and put his head in my lap before I set to work, and he told me things. Lots of things actually. He had a rough childhood, I knew that. But the bastards went as far as to put him in fucking isolation? If I were there, I would've kicked all their little scientist asses. Abel was a nice person; anyone who accused him of not being was obviously fucked up. _

_The next scene that rolled behind my eyes was the day we first met. Where I freaked out and scooted as far away from him as possible. He merely laughed and then when I threatened him, he freaked out and tried to clear his name. For some reason, the stammering priest made me laugh. He only smiled. _

_I woke up that day, and he knew nothing of who I was, but treated me as if I was his daughter. I was grateful to this man, to this helluva person who took me in from harsh life on the streets, and accepted me. Though for some reason, I don't see him as a father. I think I see him as more… Is it wrong? He lost the girl he loved, and I'm over here thinking about how far my love for the goofy priest goes? What the hell am I thinking? I need to think properly._

I opened my eyes to the just rising sun and it cast the room in a golden light. I slipped out of the sleeping priest's arms and shielded my face from the sunlight, every single noise I made as I walked across the too-bright room echoed in my head louder than necessary. Funny- I don't even get buzzed, but end up with a hangover. Yeah- I'm fucked up. But I still needed to think.

I ran a bath, waiting for the water to heat up before pushing the plug closed and watching the tub water level rise as I started to unbutton my shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror. I had bruises from last night that were healing slower than normal. A few on my shoulders, on my side, helluva lot on my back, each one in some sort of shape that resembled Abel's hand.

I turned off the water and slid into the steaming liquid, feeling the heat burn on contact and start to relax my muscles. I wanted to relive my memories, go over everything once more- see if I'm what the priest tells me, or if I'm what I tell myself. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the tub, making all light dissolve into black behind my lids. Was I only a human, or was I truly a monster. And if so, what made me that monster? I felt myself teetering on the edge of consciousness and I let myself slip into my mind, losing connection with reality.

**A/N: I know it kinda sucks. Esther dies, and Ariel is wondering if she's in love with the goofy guy who needs his emo corner right now. OCC-ness is a fun game to play, even though it's only slight. The next chapter will involve a bit more about Ariel's past. You know certain things, more than you want to know about an OC but hey- it's my story, I'm just happy you guys read it. (Shrugs.) But there's more to the girl behind the mask. In fact, I'm naming the next chapter that. Oh and on another note. Reading this means I found Kitty's pills. There were in her 'fun stuff ' bag, and yes- there's things in there I don't want to talk about. But hey, my emo corner now has a use other than sulking and sleeping- HIDING! R&R my reading friends, this insane psycho has to go convince the other psycho that the guitarist on my Rock Band t-shirt DOES NOT look like he's jerking off. Okay I have my sword. Hope to Yoda I don't die. Here goes. ZxM out!**


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